I've recently discovered the Throne of Glass series of books by Sarah J. Maas and I'm obsessed. I'd heard good things and so I downloaded the first one onto my kindle to read after I had finally finished Death Cure and I blitzed through it embarrassingly quickly, so promptly got the next two as well. For some reason I thought it was a trilogy which confused me when I started the third one because I didn't see how it was all going to get wrapped up in one book. Luckily, there is another one but I have to wait until it comes out in September which granted, isn't really that long, but I am very upset about something that has happened to one of the characters and so the waiting is torturous. I need to know how it's all going to pan out.
To fill the void, I'm naturally re-reading them, but after that I'll have to find something new to read I suppose. Sometimes I wish that you could erase books from your memory after you finish them, just so you can discover the worlds inside them again for the first time. Then again that's the nice thing about books; they become familiar, like old friends. And sometimes it's a comfort to know what's going to happen.
I think I might read The Martian by Andy Weir because I saw the trailer for the movie and it looks pretty awesome. Space is cool and everything, but I never, ever want to go there.
Song of the Day: Leaving California by Maroon 5
Moody Mondays
We've reached June, which is weird because it was Christmas five minutes ago, but whatever. I'll roll with it. I turn 26 in exactly a week. That is harder for me to grasp. I'm still 17, right?
I feel like I've reached the point where I'm no longer particularly excited by my own birthday. Although Jack has mentioned that he has bought me a few gifts which I won't turn my nose up at. I like being given things. I wish I could keep the presents but not have to move past the 18-25 age bracket. I don't know, I think I'm just becoming increasingly aware of my own mortality and that's pretty terrifying, especially when these thoughts only tend to creep up on me in the dead of night. Oh well, who needs sleep anyway?
The trouble with being in your twenties is that you assume you should have your life together by now, because that's what you think is supposed to happen after you graduate. You're supposed to know what to do next, apparently. By my age you should already have your dream job and you should maybe be thinking about Settling Down, because that's what society has drilled into you for as long as you can remember. But here's the dirty little secret that no one ever tells you when you're still in school: no one in their twenties has a fucking clue what they're doing (please pardon my french). Honestly, trying to compare your experiences with those of other people in their mid-twenties is going to accomplish absolutely nothing except make you feel miserable and inadequate. So I'm going to try really, really hard not to do that.
My brother shared this on Facebook the other day and it feels pretty appropriate for my mood today:
I am the worst at adulting.
Song of the Day: Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne, because it makes me happy.
I feel like I've reached the point where I'm no longer particularly excited by my own birthday. Although Jack has mentioned that he has bought me a few gifts which I won't turn my nose up at. I like being given things. I wish I could keep the presents but not have to move past the 18-25 age bracket. I don't know, I think I'm just becoming increasingly aware of my own mortality and that's pretty terrifying, especially when these thoughts only tend to creep up on me in the dead of night. Oh well, who needs sleep anyway?
The trouble with being in your twenties is that you assume you should have your life together by now, because that's what you think is supposed to happen after you graduate. You're supposed to know what to do next, apparently. By my age you should already have your dream job and you should maybe be thinking about Settling Down, because that's what society has drilled into you for as long as you can remember. But here's the dirty little secret that no one ever tells you when you're still in school: no one in their twenties has a fucking clue what they're doing (please pardon my french). Honestly, trying to compare your experiences with those of other people in their mid-twenties is going to accomplish absolutely nothing except make you feel miserable and inadequate. So I'm going to try really, really hard not to do that.
My brother shared this on Facebook the other day and it feels pretty appropriate for my mood today:
I am the worst at adulting.
Song of the Day: Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne, because it makes me happy.
May the Fourth be with you
In honour of Star Wars Day, I'm bringing this back.
It's still my favourite thing.
Speaking of Star Wars, I'm sure by now everyone has seen the trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens and is suitably excited. It was so full of nostalgia and I may have squealed when Han and Chewie rocked up at the end. I can't wait.
Song of the Day: Resolve by the Foo Fighters
It's still my favourite thing.
Speaking of Star Wars, I'm sure by now everyone has seen the trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens and is suitably excited. It was so full of nostalgia and I may have squealed when Han and Chewie rocked up at the end. I can't wait.
Song of the Day: Resolve by the Foo Fighters
Deep Dark Fears (basically a ramble on why I'm afraid of the sea)
I've never really considered myself to have any proper, fully-fledged phobias of anything. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things that I'm not particularly fond of, or that make me uneasy. I don't like spiders when they're inside my house (they don't bother me outside); I don't like being in crowds so big that you're constantly being jostled by strangers (this is part of the reason why I've never been to a festival - that and I hate camping and port-a-loo's); I'm not very good on roller-coasters, I have to really build myself up to go on them and even then I usually shut my eyes the entire time because it's not as scary if I can't see what's coming (that being said, I still don't think I'll ever go on Oblivion ever, ever again). However I wouldn't say that any of these are crippling fears, and I wouldn't consider them particularly debilitating to my life. I wouldn't let them stop me from going to a Theme Park or somewhere I know will be very crowded.
The only thing I can think of that I would equate to a genuine fear would be the ocean. The ocean terrifies me, and it's something that has only intensified as I have grown older. I still love the beach and the water, and I will still paddle and swim (if the water visibility is perfect and I'm absolutely sure there is nothing in that area that could kill me). But there is always something in the back of my mind that sets me on edge and stops me from being a hundred percent in the moment. I would never let my guard down in the ocean, and whenever I do go swimming in the sea I am constantly reassessing my surroundings, and where I am in relation to the shore/boat and how long it would take me to get there in a hurry if I needed to. And yes, part of this is my irrational fear that there could be a shark literally anywhere (even places that I have been assured there aren't). It's silly, I know, but Jaws is one of my favourite films and I have an overactive imagination.
I've been thinking about it and I think I can remember where the root of my fear began. I can't remember how old I was (maybe about 6 or 7), but I think we were in Dubai and my brother and I were playing in the waves. All we were doing was letting them catch us and riding over them, like surfing I guess only without the boards. Some of them were getting quite big and closer together and after I had just gone over one wave, the next one was already starting to break so instead of being able to go over it, I got caught at the bottom and pushed under the water. I was stuck in the momentum of the wave and got caught in the next one too, and it just kept me tumbling round and round, unable to get free. After that one I managed to swim to the surface and I couldn't have been under the water for longer than 30 seconds realistically, probably less, but it felt like ages. Once I'd got my breath back I carried on playing, because when you're a kid, the fun outweighs the fear always. But I think that ever since then I've always had that moment in my mind every time I've been swimming in the sea.
When I was fourteen I was part of a school trip that went to Vietnam. We went on a boat trip and we were allowed to jump off the top into the water. It was actually really high up, and it was starting to get dark so the visibility in the water wasn't great, but there's something about being surrounded by friends that makes you brave, and I did it. Twice. It's funny, the journey down was exhilarating, but after I had plunged into the sea and come up to the surface, it felt quite unnerving to be in that much water. After the second time, two of my friends came towards me on a kayak and one of them, thinking he was oh so hilarious, pointed behind me and said, with a panicked expression, "Look out Emma, a shark!" Deep down inside, I knew he was joking, but by that time I had managed to sufficiently freak myself out. I didn't even bother looking behind me, just swam to their kayak as fast as I could and nearly capsized it climbing on board. It's safe to say that after that I lost my nerve and didn't do it again. I don't think I'd have the nerve to do it now, to be honest.
As much as I don't want to let it stop me from ever enjoying myself (and I won't), I do think that it's appropriate to have a certain amount of fear of the ocean. The ocean isn't our home; we don't live there. Every time we go in the sea, we are invading the space of the creatures (many of which can easily kill you) that do. The ocean itself is like it's own entity, moving with the waves and currents which can also, incidentally, kill you. I think a lot of people don't fully respect the ocean. But I do. At heart, humans are selfish creatures, but when we're in the vastness of the ocean, we're forced to realise how insignificant we are. Honestly, that's what makes it the most rational fear of all.
Song of the Day: A Song About Love by Jake Bugg
The only thing I can think of that I would equate to a genuine fear would be the ocean. The ocean terrifies me, and it's something that has only intensified as I have grown older. I still love the beach and the water, and I will still paddle and swim (if the water visibility is perfect and I'm absolutely sure there is nothing in that area that could kill me). But there is always something in the back of my mind that sets me on edge and stops me from being a hundred percent in the moment. I would never let my guard down in the ocean, and whenever I do go swimming in the sea I am constantly reassessing my surroundings, and where I am in relation to the shore/boat and how long it would take me to get there in a hurry if I needed to. And yes, part of this is my irrational fear that there could be a shark literally anywhere (even places that I have been assured there aren't). It's silly, I know, but Jaws is one of my favourite films and I have an overactive imagination.
I've been thinking about it and I think I can remember where the root of my fear began. I can't remember how old I was (maybe about 6 or 7), but I think we were in Dubai and my brother and I were playing in the waves. All we were doing was letting them catch us and riding over them, like surfing I guess only without the boards. Some of them were getting quite big and closer together and after I had just gone over one wave, the next one was already starting to break so instead of being able to go over it, I got caught at the bottom and pushed under the water. I was stuck in the momentum of the wave and got caught in the next one too, and it just kept me tumbling round and round, unable to get free. After that one I managed to swim to the surface and I couldn't have been under the water for longer than 30 seconds realistically, probably less, but it felt like ages. Once I'd got my breath back I carried on playing, because when you're a kid, the fun outweighs the fear always. But I think that ever since then I've always had that moment in my mind every time I've been swimming in the sea.
When I was fourteen I was part of a school trip that went to Vietnam. We went on a boat trip and we were allowed to jump off the top into the water. It was actually really high up, and it was starting to get dark so the visibility in the water wasn't great, but there's something about being surrounded by friends that makes you brave, and I did it. Twice. It's funny, the journey down was exhilarating, but after I had plunged into the sea and come up to the surface, it felt quite unnerving to be in that much water. After the second time, two of my friends came towards me on a kayak and one of them, thinking he was oh so hilarious, pointed behind me and said, with a panicked expression, "Look out Emma, a shark!" Deep down inside, I knew he was joking, but by that time I had managed to sufficiently freak myself out. I didn't even bother looking behind me, just swam to their kayak as fast as I could and nearly capsized it climbing on board. It's safe to say that after that I lost my nerve and didn't do it again. I don't think I'd have the nerve to do it now, to be honest.
As much as I don't want to let it stop me from ever enjoying myself (and I won't), I do think that it's appropriate to have a certain amount of fear of the ocean. The ocean isn't our home; we don't live there. Every time we go in the sea, we are invading the space of the creatures (many of which can easily kill you) that do. The ocean itself is like it's own entity, moving with the waves and currents which can also, incidentally, kill you. I think a lot of people don't fully respect the ocean. But I do. At heart, humans are selfish creatures, but when we're in the vastness of the ocean, we're forced to realise how insignificant we are. Honestly, that's what makes it the most rational fear of all.
Song of the Day: A Song About Love by Jake Bugg
Music & Lyrics
You are not your job
And you are not the clothes you wear
You are the words that leave your mouth
So speak up, speak up loud
Call Me Ishmael by Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
I rediscovered Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly this morning and Call Me Ishmael really struck a chord with me for some reason. It's funny, you can hear a song you've heard a hundred times before, and all of a sudden it has a profound effect on you. I suppose it depends where you are in your life. As someone who really pays attention to lyrics, I appreciate when they're actually clever, or mean something.
In a few weeks I will get time
To realise it's right before my eyes
And I can take it if it's what I want to do
What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club
But no one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great
About slaving 50 years away on something that you hate
About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity
Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me
Photosynthesis by Frank Turner
Evidently there's a theme within the kinds of songs I'm listening to at the moment. I think that's the nice thing about music though; there seems to be songs that can relate to almost any situation. They say things that you can't quite verbalise sometimes. They make you feel things. What a great gift to have.
Song of the Day: Any of the 3 I've mentioned. Take your pick, they're all great.
New hobbies
I have a headache. Which probably isn't being helped by staring at a computer screen, but hey-ho. Here we are.
February came and went with the blink of an eye as it always does because it is so short, but I find that March seems quite short too. Mostly because by the time your mind processes that it is not February anymore, it has already been March for a good few days. In theory it should be warming up now, but although the nights are getting lighter it feels like we've fallen back into the depths of winter. It reminds me of this comic. After January, winter just becomes a bit of a burden because there's no Christmas to look forward to. Bring on summer, I want to sit outside.
I've started drawing. Although I'm not a jealous person by nature, I have always envied people who seem to be artistically gifted. I've had a change of heart though. Whilst I still think that there are people who have a natural flair for drawing, it actually takes a lot of work and all those people just try a lot harder than the rest of us who say that we're not very good at art. Last week I decided that I wanted to get better at drawing so I just started practicing. I think the coolest thing about sketching is that you start out with some circles and lines on a page but you build them up and they become something, and it's really rewarding when your finished product actually resembles what you wanted it to. It's hard though, and it takes time. Patience is a great virtue, but it's never been one of mine, so it's good for me to start taking more time over things. When I told Jack that I'd started doodling he said, "Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls?" because he is oh so hilarious (I'm assuming everyone will get the reference). So far I've pretty much been drawing some of my favourite cartoon characters, but you've got to start somewhere and it's really fun.
Speaking of cartoons, here's some awesome ones that you should definitely watch if you don't already:
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Avatar: Legend of Korra
Over The Garden Wall
Adventure Time (obviously - everyone knows how much I love it)
Bob's Burgers
Watch them. Thank me later.
Song of the Day: Like I Can by Sam Smith
Currently reading: Death Cure by James Dashner
February came and went with the blink of an eye as it always does because it is so short, but I find that March seems quite short too. Mostly because by the time your mind processes that it is not February anymore, it has already been March for a good few days. In theory it should be warming up now, but although the nights are getting lighter it feels like we've fallen back into the depths of winter. It reminds me of this comic. After January, winter just becomes a bit of a burden because there's no Christmas to look forward to. Bring on summer, I want to sit outside.
I've started drawing. Although I'm not a jealous person by nature, I have always envied people who seem to be artistically gifted. I've had a change of heart though. Whilst I still think that there are people who have a natural flair for drawing, it actually takes a lot of work and all those people just try a lot harder than the rest of us who say that we're not very good at art. Last week I decided that I wanted to get better at drawing so I just started practicing. I think the coolest thing about sketching is that you start out with some circles and lines on a page but you build them up and they become something, and it's really rewarding when your finished product actually resembles what you wanted it to. It's hard though, and it takes time. Patience is a great virtue, but it's never been one of mine, so it's good for me to start taking more time over things. When I told Jack that I'd started doodling he said, "Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls?" because he is oh so hilarious (I'm assuming everyone will get the reference). So far I've pretty much been drawing some of my favourite cartoon characters, but you've got to start somewhere and it's really fun.
Speaking of cartoons, here's some awesome ones that you should definitely watch if you don't already:
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Avatar: Legend of Korra
Over The Garden Wall
Adventure Time (obviously - everyone knows how much I love it)
Bob's Burgers
Watch them. Thank me later.
Song of the Day: Like I Can by Sam Smith
Currently reading: Death Cure by James Dashner
A list. And pancakes.
I did start writing a belated Valentine's Day post on Monday, but I didn't finish it. It's too late now. It can sit in my drafts until next year. Or forever. Who knows. I couldn't finish it and post it yesterday obviously because yesterday was the most sacred of all the days: Pancake Day. Any day that makes it socially acceptable to eat pancakes for dinner is definitely a winner in my book.
Anyway, here's a list of some of the things that I find ridiculously overrated. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...
Song of the Day: Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me) by Cockney Rebel & Steve Harley
Currently reading: The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
Anyway, here's a list of some of the things that I find ridiculously overrated. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...
- Pulp Fiction
- Actually, Quentin Tarantino films in general.
- Nando's
- Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars - it's not even that catchy a song, I don't get the appeal.
- Breaking Bad - don't get mad! I don't mind it, I haven't even finished it yet, I'm only on series 2 but honestly I find it kind of slow moving and hard to get into. Maybe it gets better? I'll persevere.
- Champagne (sorry Mum)
- Looking for Alaska by John Green. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed it but I don't quite think it lived up to all of the hype it got. Paper Towns and The Fault in our Stars were much better, in my humble opinion.
- Frozen - I actually really like Frozen but holy moly it's so over-hyped and it's everywhere, all the time.
And now, in honor of Pancake Day, a video of someone making pancakes shaped like characters from The Walking Dead, how cool!
Song of the Day: Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me) by Cockney Rebel & Steve Harley
Currently reading: The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
