Unfathomable

I woke up this morning to discover the apocalypse had been ushered in whilst I slept. Oh, good.

Okay, so I don't pretend to know much about politics and all the intricacies and hierarchies and whatnot involved. And I don't like to talk about stuff like this on the internet usually because I don't have the energy to argue with people.

But I have to say something about Trump, because try as I might, I cannot fathom how he has managed to bullshit his way into the Presidency. I'm not saying Hillary Clinton is perfect, but she was qualified. She had bags and bags of political experience, and she was the only logical choice.

There's no question that she should have won.

How on earth has America gone from having Barack Obama as President, to electing a man who was endorsed by the KKK?

Bigotry, misogyny, racism and general intolerance won today. The history books are going to remember 2016 as a political shitstorm, worldwide. First Brexit, now this.

What the fuck is going on?

Song of the Day:

Wasps are stupid, but also terrifying

It's getting towards summer now, which means at night time my windows are likely to be open. This also means that every once in a while, I will be awoken early in the morning by the buzzing sound of a very disgruntled wasp that has managed to fly through the window and can't figure out how to get back out.

Eventually, they always seem to sort it out and escape, but until they do, I can't really open the curtains. Because wasps aren't like bees. Bees are round and fuzzy and in general, less inclined to sting you. They're just trying to pollinate flowers and make honey. (Save the bees.) Wasps, on the other hand, are driven by hatred and incandescent rage. And when they get trapped, they become incensed. So when the idiotic creatures have managed to get themselves caught in between my curtains and my bedroom window, I can't even try and help by opening the windows wider because that involves opening the curtains. And if I do that, then a tiny, buzzing ball of pure fury will suddenly be directed at me. 

When this happens I pretty much live in fear until the buzzing stops, then I have to hope that it has found the window and escaped and isn't just lulling me into a false sense of security. So yeah. I'm not a fan of wasps. They're like the geese of the insect world. (I hate geese, I cannot stress this enough.)

Song of the Day: I'm a little ashamed of this (let's call it a guilty pleasure song) but 80s Mercedes by Maren Morris was on some random Spotify playlist and I can't get it out of my head.

Bloglovin'

I've got issues

Sometimes I really think I shouldn't be a waitress because I hate people. Well, not all people, but some at least. I hate the people that don't make eye contact with me when I'm taking their order, it's so rude. I hate the people who tell me their meals are fine when I go and check on them, and then complain about them when they come and pay - you've eaten it now, there is nothing I can do. And I hate, I hate, I HATE the people who sit on a dirty table that I am literally on my way to clean. This has been happening a lot lately and it's especially annoying because every time, the pub has not been overly busy and there has been several clean tables for them to choose from. I don't understand why you would choose a sticky table covered in crumbs, with glasses on it and an empty cutlery pot, over a nicely wiped table with no glasses on it and a brand new cutlery pot. It really takes the piss when someone who has sat on this dirty table comes over to you, looks at you as if they think you are completely incompetent and says, "Er, excuse me but could someone please come and wipe our table? It's really dirty." The urge to punch people is so high when I'm at work.


I love a good rant, I feel better now. Daf thinks I have rage issues because of my 'irrational hatred' of certain people (for example, Bear Grylls). I don't think my hatred of Bear Grylls is irrational at all. He has all his survivor shows and whatever, which is fine, but it's just the way he goes about it. He starts every single show in a helicopter, shouting to make himself heard over the propellers. Why can't he just wait until he's landed to tell us what the show is going to be about? And then he runs around the desert or a forest or the mountains or wherever he is surviving this week, eating disgusting things and drinking his own urine and getting too close to bears and whispering to his camera, "There's a bear right over there". Well I can see that; get away from the bear you idiot. Daf says that his show has probably helped save some lives of people getting stuck in the middle of nowhere, but has it really? If anyone was doing research ahead of going into some kind of dangerous wilderness, like the North Pole or something, I doubt they'd just be watching loads of Bear Grylls.


I guess my point is that Bear Grylls is really irritating and I so do not have irrational anger issues.


Away from things I hate and onto something I love which is the song Lego House by Ed Sheeran. I love the video for it (mostly because Rupert Grint is in it), it's so weird and creepy, but I like it.

Internet Memes

I feel like I've blogged loads this week but I really really haven't. Never mind, I'm here now. I've just watched Dr Who and I won't spoil it in case you haven't seen it, but let's just say my mind is officially blown. Touché, writers.

Anyway, I've got things on my mind, people. I love the internet. I love my blog, and I love reading other people's blogs; I love how easy it is to keep in touch with people through the likes of Facebook; I love internet shopping; I love Tumblr, and most of all, I love how many funny/cool/interesting websites are on the internet. However, I do not love internet phases (or memes) that are either taken too far, or that think they're funny when they are painfully unfunny. 

One of the biggest culprits currently making the rounds is "That awkward moment when..." followed by something which is supposed to be a funny awkward moment. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I seriously envy you. This 'phenomenon' has its own website, but I simply don't understand the popularity. Here's some examples, hand-picked by me from the website:

• That awkward moment when the parents of the children you’re babysitting come home and find you sleeping on the couch.
• That awkward moment when you slip while reading a “floor slippery when wet” sign. 
• That awkward moment when you realize that Waldo is not the world champion at hide and seek. 
• That awkward moment when you sit on the remote and think a ghost turned on the TV.
• That awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and no one believes it was the chair, so you try to do it again but you can’t make the sound.

I think you get the point. The trouble with this craze is that when it started, there were actually a few funny ones around, and people were like, "Lol, it's funny 'cause it's true." But now, like with this website, people can submit their own, and they very rarely raise so much as a smile, or they're Mean Girls references. The thing is though, they're hardly ever even what I would consider an 'awkward moment'. Honestly, go and check for yourself. I mean, is this really funny to people? Am I losing my touch with popular culture? No, I don't think so. I just think it's stupid.

Another one is I think mainly Facebook orientated where they have all those groups you can 'like'. I think it's quietened down a bit now but it was everywhere for a while. I'm talking about the "Lol jk" jokes fad. For all you non-text speakers, here is the Urban Dictionary definition -

LOL, JK - The 'textual communication' version of "Laughing Out Loud, Just Kidding".

A lot of these were pretty sexist/racist or just generally offensive (if not for the content then just for the sheer unfunniness). Here's a couple just for reference:

• I'd take a bullet for you...LOL jk that would hurt.
• I'm studying for exams...LOL jk I'm on Facebook. 
• It's not you, it's me...LOL jk, it's you. 

Again, you get the point. As I said, I think this one has pretty much died down now, but I brought it up because I saw one a couple of weeks ago which infuriated me.

I finish uni on the 18th May... LOL, jk, I do a real degree.

This page is filled with comments from people, and the crux of what they were saying is that if you do a degree where your exams are finished by the 18th May then your degree isn't viable. Most of the people commenting were engineering students, or medical students of some kind, and whilst I have the utmost respect for these professions, I find the sheer ignorance behind the individual statements astounding. For one, the students don't decide the exam and term dates, the Universities do, and so whilst May is early to finish, it by no accounts means that the work ethic is low among the students themselves. My exam is on the 31st May, but I reckon I'd still be counted in this group, because if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in my final year, I would've had a four month break. I think it's incredibly rude of people to belittle my degree choice just because it isn't one that translates into an obvious career path. And after all, if we all did engineering degrees then there'd be no demand for engineers thus rendering engineering obsolete as a degree choice. Bit of a rant, but it just annoys me that because some degree subjects finish for summer a lot earlier than say a medical degree, medical students think that they're the only ones doing anything worthwhile. (By the way, I realise not every single medical or engineering student thinks like this, I purely mean those who commented on this particular group.)

And breathe.

But yeah, back to my original point, 'Lol jk' jokes aren't funny, kay? There's so many more I could comment on but I think I'd just be going around in circles and then we'd be stuck in a neverending blog post. Which would be awful.

******

Song of the Day: Where The Road Meets The Sun by Matthew Perryman Jones and Katie Herzig 

And when the day comes I'll meet you here/'Cause I know that wishes come true/Finding my way back to you

Alexander: A Review

The night that I stayed up until 4am doing last minute dissertation related things, Alexander the movie about Alexander the Great was on acting as my background noise. I had several problems with this movie that I am going to share with you. Without further ado, here is my review of Alexander.
  
*Disclaimer: As I was paying very little attention, this review will be wholly inaccurate because I actually have no idea what the plot was - from what I can gather, there's some fighting and a lot of Colin Farrell being really weird.*

• First of all, Angelina Jolie playing Colin Farrell's mother is the most ridiculous casting ever, plus it didn't look like much effort had been made to make her look older.
• Second, wasn't Alexander the Great Greek, and not Irish? I know that Colin Farrell is Irish, but maybe a neutral accent could have been used or something. Plus Angelina was trying to do a Greek accent (I think that's what it was at least), so it all just sounded very odd. Bit of consistency would have been nice.
• I think there might have been incesty (is that a word) undertones between Alexander and his mum. Which is always weird.
• Anthony Hopkins narrating the film just made me think of The Grinch.
• Why does no one in Greece look Greek?
• Finally, it's like 3 hours long or something. If you want to watch a 3 hour film, I'd suggest Titanic, or one of The Lord of the Rings films.   

I was also going to complain about the fact that Alexander was blond, but Wikipedia tells me that he was, in fact, blond and of a pale complexion. See, I do my research.
 
Here concludes my Alexander review. Next week: Troy. 

(I'm only joking. I probably won't review Troy. Also, I'm aware that this by no means constitutes a 'review' so if you're genuinely interested in a review of Alexander, this probably won't help you and I suggest you look elsewhere.)

******

Song of the Day: Rumour Has It by Adele

She made your heart melt/But you're cold to the core/Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore