Cringe

Yesterday, there was a knock on the door and it was the postman (as it often is this time of year) with a package I had to sign for. All fine and dandy apart from the embarrassing outfit that I was wearing, but not a big deal. Today, another package to sign for, and the exact same postman. This wouldn't be an issue for me usually, except that I just so happened to be wearing exactly the same outfit that I had on the day before. Added bonuses today were my hair scraped back into a messy bun, and the end pieces of my glasses jammed into my hair instead of resting on my ears in a haphazard sort of manner. Individually, the items I was wearing were perfectly acceptable, but thrown together as I had, it was just a garish explosion of clashing patterns that I never would have worn out of the house. Don't get me wrong, I was super comfortable, but I hadn't really planned on being seen by anyone, let alone two days in a row. The only reason I had thrown the same clothes on again was because I had a few things to do around the house that I wanted to get out of the way before I had a shower, and didn't see the point in wearing something clean to do them in.

So of course my immediate reaction to opening the door and finding the same postman before me, was to half hide myself behind the door and hope he couldn't remember me. Unfortunately, the first thing he said was, "Hello again, I've got another one for you." Oh dear. He was very polite of course, and didn't mention what a colossal mess I must have looked which was very decent of him.

Please don't judge me, Mr. Postman.

Song of the Day: You're So True by Joseph Arthur (Hope you know you inspire me, you're a flower and I'm a bee, I need you/ All this you do for free, give me hope and I can see you're so true)

Currently reading: Two things - Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy by Helen Fielding and The Walking Dead: Compendium Two by Robert Kirkman. I am ploughing through my 'to read' list and it's making me really happy.

Bloglovin'

Monday Thoughts

My hours at work are currently all over the place, hence the blogging hiatus. But anyway, my brother and his girlfriend will be coming to visit this week, plus my parents get back from Saudi on Thursday so I'm excited for that. I've been waiting until everyone's here to put the tree up and I'm starting to get a bit impatient - I'm usually one of those people who puts up the Christmas tree on the 1st of December. I've shown a lot of restraint I think! Also, I've had a disaster with my advent calender. I accidentally opened the door for the 17th on the 7th and didn't realise until the next day. So now I'll have to open the 8th on the 17th. It might not seem like a big deal to normal people but I am strange and it has infuriated me, haha.

Did everyone see the X factor final? I'm kind of glad James Arthur won because he was definitely my favourite, but I think he was going to do well without winning, whereas I think Jahmene would have benefited more from winning, I feel like he's less likely to do well on his own. Also, James Arthur might find himself restricted by whatever conditions come with being the winner of the X factor. Oh well, I don't really care that much, I never vote on shows like that anyway!

It's that time of year again where I have been gifted some extra channels for the holiday, including Good Food, which has made me incredibly happy. I love watching cooking shows anyway, and Christmas cooking shows are just the best. Everyone knows that. So I've been watching a lot of old Jamie Christmas specials! 

Anyway, it's very cold today, and I have to wait in for a delivery, so it's quite nice that I've got an excuse not to go anywhere. Nigella's on soon - think I'll watch that with a huge mug of hot chocolate :)

Christmas song of the day: Please Come Home For Christmas by Jon Bon Jovi

Currently reading: Letters from Father Christmas - I nearly finished it last night but I fell asleep. Considering reading Life of Pi next because I really want to watch the film when it's out.

Keep your keys with you at all times

This morning I paid £17 to sit in a chair for two minutes and have a man count my teeth. Otherwise known as a 'dental check-up'. I so should have gone to dentist school.

Yesterday I managed to lock myself out of my house, and I was stuck there for about an hour and fifteen minutes until my neighbour (who has a spare key) got home and rescued me. I don't even know how it happened. I had been into town and Sainsburys, picked up a few bits, and when I got home I took all the shopping bags in, put the keys down, and put down my handbag which had my phone and purse inside. Before I had left home I'd taken out the food caddy to empty it into the outside bin, and I left it there to bring in when I got back. So, once I had dropped everything inside, I went back out to get the food caddy. I didn't put the door on the latch, which was a rookie mistake, but the caddy was just outside the door and it didn't occur to me. Anyway, there must have been a gust of wind or something because I heard a slam and came to the humiliating realisation that I had managed to lock myself out.

I went next door to see if anyone was home, which of course they weren't, because the universe was mocking me. It was about quarter to two, so assuming most jobs finish about 5, I was going to have to wait about 3 and a half hours for someone to get home and lend me the key. It was quite overcast yesterday, with sporadic bouts of rain and gusts of wind. Unfortunately for me, my cardigan was in my handbag, which was just on the otherside of the doorway. So I could add 'cold' to my problems.

I tried to fit my arm through the letterbox to see if I could reach the inside handle but my chubby hands wouldn't fit. Or maybe letterboxes weren't designed to fit limbs through them, I don't know. At one point I heard sirens and wondered if a neighbour had phoned the police under the impression that I was a persistent but incompetent burglar. Everytime the rain got a little too heavy I had to go and stand under the hedge/shrubbery to try and avoid getting completely soaked, but fortunately there was never a continous downpour. Most of the time I spent just sitting on the step, lamenting my own stupidity.

At around 3pm I heard a car slow down outside next door, and it was my neighbour's son getting dropped off by his friends. He went and got me a keyring which had the most keys attached to it that I have ever seen. Not knowing which one it was, I started trying all of them, although at one point I couldn't remember which keys I'd already tried. Anyway, eventually I found the right one and managed to get back inside. Let me tell you, I have never appreciated keys as much as I do now.

That's all for now, join me next time for another installment of I can't believe I am considered to be a responsible adult.

******

Song of the Day: Loser by Beck

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Graduation fears

With my dissertation in and only one exam to revise for, my thoughts have drifted to my graduation. I've been wondering what to wear both clothes-wise and shoes-wise, and also complaining about how much it costs to hire a gown, and why can't the university pay for it, blah blah blah, etc. Among these thoughts is a genuine concern about graduation photographs. My parents will undoubtedly want a nice shot of me with my degree certificate, but I have a real difficulty of looking....well, let's just say 'normal' in photographs.

The problem is, whenever anyone points a camera at me, I automatically give a thumbs up and my face does this:

I do this so often that it has become known as the 'classic' Emma pose, and my friends even do it with me now. (By friends, I pretty much just mean Soph):

Daf even does it:

But shhhh, don't tell him I put this on my blog.

My friend Lydia even did a 'classic Emma' on her wedding day - a very proud moment for me.

Anyway, the point to all of this is that my face is ridiculous and I'm going to look like a crazy fool when I graduate. There are plenty more examples of these photos by the way, I just think that you've seen more than enough of my face for one day.

Just before I go, click this link - you won't regret it, it has made my day.

******

Song of the Day: You Only Live Once by The Strokes

Sit me down/Shut me up/I'll calm down and I'll get along with you

5 Complaints of the Day

1. I overslept and forgot it was bin day so when I woke up and remembered, I had to rush downstairs with the heavy recycling bag. I made it in the nick of time, the bin-men went past just as I went back inside, but still, it was an annoyingly stressful start to my morning (not that taking out bin-bags is stressful, but my brain wasn't functioning yet.)

2. I went to the library to get some books out for revision purposes, and the one I needed the most wasn't there, even though I checked the system and it said it was in the library. I hate it when things aren't where they're supposed to be.

3. This advert for Diet Coke:

There are so many things about this advert that annoy me. Firstly, the idea that you'd buy a handbag just to put a can in it is absurd. Just drink it. Secondly, why does she need a bag so small that only a can of coke can fit inside it? Is that really all she needs on her? No phone, no keys, no money? It's alright, she's got a Diet Coke, she is prepared for any possible situation. Thirdly, why are her friends carrying around a chainsaw and a blowtorch? And finally, the fact that after using said chainsaw to desecrate the 'too big' bag in order to make it small enough for her can, she has the audacity to say to the naturally horrified salesman - "You should lighten up!" Then she walks out with her mates without even paying. What a bitch.

I really hate that advert.

4. The 'j' button on my laptop is playing up so I have to press it extra hard.

5. I've twisted funny or something and now it feels like I've dislocated my hip. Fantastic, I'm a 90 year old lady.

******

Song of the Day: A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz

Well, it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write/Kind of turn themselves into knives/And don't mind my nerve, you could call it fiction/But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear

 

I don't even know what day it is anymore

My dissertation is currently in the library being bound, all that is left for me to do is pick it up tomorrow morning and then hand it in. So you're getting a blog post a day earlier than I thought, you lucky, lucky devils!

I had all these great intentions of having my dissertation finished well in advance so that I could save myself running around last minute trying to get the last bits and pieces together. Of course, that is so much easier said than done. I didn't go to bed until 4 this morning, got up at 8 and went straight to the library. I scanned everything I needed into my dissertation, added a few extra words, and faffed around for ages sorting out my Appendices, which I no longer care about because I have lost the will to live.
 
Not really. I am exhausted though, I don't even feel up to celebrating I'm that tired. I spent six hours straight in the library putting the finishing touches to everything and I didn't even have any breakfast. I rang Daf from the library because I realised I'd forgotten an important document which I needed, so he brought it up for me like the nice guy he is. When he got there, I mentioned how hungry I was, so he said he'd go and get me something to eat.

Daf: What do you want me to get?
Me: *shrugs*...a chocolate bar?
Daf: I was going to suggest a sandwich*.
Me: I'd prefer a chocolate bar.
Daf: Do you want some crisps, or-
Me: Get me a chocolate bar.

Don't judge me, you can totally have chocolate for breakfast.

Anyway, after about 4,ooo years, I was about as happy as I was going to get with it and printed it off then handed it into the binding lady, who told me to come and pick it up tomorrow. I went back to the flat, had a shower, put on my pyjamas and checked my email. To my surprise, I had an email from the library telling me that I left my purse there and could I come and collect it from the enquiries desk. I didn't even realise I'd left it - it has my debit card and drivers license in it, not to mention about £25. Thank goodness someone nice found it or I'd be feeling pretty stupid right about now (or at least more stupid than I do already). Needless to say, I coerced Daf into taking me back up to the library to pick up my purse, and all is right with the universe again.

I'll see you when my brain works again.

******

Song of the Day: Blame it on the Alcohol - the Glee Cast version

*I had to google how to spell sandwich. That's how tired I am.

This is what I have been doing

My Dad has complained about the lack of a new blog post, and I'm sure my LEGION of avid readers will agree so, without further ado...

I'm now back at home for the Easter holidays, and have lugged the majority of my possessions back with me to save me a mammoth job when I finish at the end of May. I had a minor panic attack when I was packing and couldn't find my dissertation research anywhere. After watching me frantically search my desk and shelves, muttering profanities as I went, Daf finally said; "Isn't it on that chair?" 
 
It was on that chair, obscured by a mound of clothes, because you know, why wouldn't I keep it there?

Anyway, I am successfully home with everything I need. Yesterday we went to Merry Hill (which is a big shopping centre), mainly because I wanted to go to H&M. It was a really nice warm day, and on the drive there we saw this young gentleman walking along the pavement, cigarette in his mouth, topless, and wearing a woolly hat. Brilliant.

I have bought myself a trilby hat, because I've wanted one for ages and I think that now I have shorter hair I can pull it off. I think it makes me look super awesome. Daf respectfully disagrees.

When we got back, I supervised while Daf mowed the lawn, then I pranced around taking pictures, some of which I will put on here, as soon as I find my camera cable.

It's another sunny day so I should probably get out of my pyjamas and go outside.

******

Today I'm loving: The sun of course!

Today I'm hatin': I keep sneezing, and not like once or twice, but about seven times in a row, several times a day. Could this be hayfever? I've never had it before, but can you develop it pretty much whenever? These are genuine questions by the way, let me know if you are a hayfever connoisseur (if that's even a legitimate thing).

Song of the Day: Last Words by The Real Tuesday Weld, continuing on my Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist theme.

You said you loved me/And I kind of believe that/But these days who knows what it means?

My ear saga

As I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned, I have a blocked ear. I've had it over a week now, and the reason why I haven't done anything about it yet is because it unblocked a couple of times, and then just reblocked again. I got some olive oil drops from the chemist that I was supposed to use for up to week, but they haven't worked. To add to my misery, on Monday I woke up with a cold. You know how you can usually tell if you're going to get a cold, like a bit of a dry throat, maybe a bit of a runny nose? Yeah, I got none of that this time. I went to bed Sunday night feeling absolutely fine (other than my ear), and I woke up the next day sniffling annoyingly with a fully fledged cold. Wonderful, now I'm completely bunged up and incredibly irritable. 

Enough was enough, and I pledged to go to the doctors and get my ear syringed, which I've had done before a couple of years ago, and it is instant relief, just what I need. I set my alarm for 7.50am this morning so that I could ring the doctors as soon as it opened at 8, because if you don't call first thing then you'll be put on hold for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, as doctors surgeries are very busy places. I managed to get an appointment for 10.15, so I was pretty excited to finally get rid of the ringing in my ear.

I got Daf to take me down so I didn't have to wait on my own, and it was a good thing too because I was kept waiting for ages. I could feel myself getting more and more infuriated as people who were coming in after me got seen to before I did. Just before I was about to go up to the receptionist and say, "Hey, I've been waiting way longer than that baby!" my name got called. Finally.

When I got to the doctor's office, she asked me if it would be alright if my appointment was filmed for training purposes or whatever. I wasn't really keen on the idea but I didn't want to be a bitch so I told her that it was fine, and she went over to the corner and switched on the camera that was propped on the table-top. The following exchange went something like this:

Doctor: "So, what do you do, are you a student?"
Me: "Yep, I am indeed a student."
"Oh right, what are you studying?"
My brain: Please don't patronise me by pretending to give a crap about what I study, I have come to the doctors for a medical reason, not for a chat about my degree, however riveting it might be.
"History."
"Wow, are you enjoying it?"
Are you kidding me right now? 
"Yes thanks, not much longer left now though, I'm in my last year."
Oh great, and now I'm engaging you in conversation.
"So you've got exams and stuff then?"
"Just the one."
This is ridiculous.

Eventually, she got around to actually asking me what was wrong with me, so I told her about my blocked ear, that it had been like this over a week now and that I'd had some drops which hadn't done anything. She asked if I had a ringing in my ear, so I said yes. She gave me a quick examination, looked at my throat, felt my glands, and then finally looked in my ears (my original complaint). As I had suspected - and told the doctor - it was wax which was causing the blockage, and she told me there was a couple things that could be done for me. One was to try drops for another week and see if that works, and the other was to syringe it. Obviously, I said I wanted it syringed as the drops I'd had weren't working. I thought she could just syringe it there and then, but no, I had to book a separate appointment with a nurse for this. And in the meantime, I've been prescribed some different drops anyway. 

So basically, a day which was supposed to see the glorious re-instatment of the hearing in my right ear has turned into the beginning of a whole WEEK before I can go and get it syringed.

In short, I'm not best pleased. But this whole saga has reminded me of when I was younger and we went on holiday to Bali. The swimming pool at the hotel had a water feature that was kind of like a mini waterfall which flowed down into the actual pool. I don't remember how old I was, about 8 sounds about right, but anyway, I was clearly an idiot because I stuck my head under it, sideways so that all the rushing water went directly into my ear. Instant ear infection.  

******

Today I'm loving: Nothing, everything SUCKS.

Today I'm hatin': Ears.

Song of the Day: Buzzin' by Mann feat. 50 Cent, not because it's a particularly good song, but purely for the lyrics: 

They come around like honey/'Cause I'm fly like a bee     

Money Money Money

I love it when I check my bank balance and I have more money than I thought I did. Whenever I'm at an ATM I always feel a stab of complete and utter terror when I press the *show bank balance on screen* button. I'm not sure why, maybe it's the fear of finding out that my account has been inexplicably emptied. Whatever the reason, I'm always pleasantly surprised. That happened yesterday when I went into town on the chocolate chips mission (see previous post). I hadn't checked my balance in a while so was somewhat apprehensive, but luckily my fears were unwarranted. I don't know why I always get like that though, all I've really spent money on recently is food and series 4 of Lost. You know, the essentials.

The trouble is that the little voice in my head is now screaming at me to buy things. Specifically clothes and jewellery. Even things I wouldn't normally wear, I have this stupid voice saying "Oh em gee, you have to buy this, you NEED this in your life. What's a little self-indulgence every once in a while? BUY BUY BUY!" No, little voice, no I will not. I can't quite help myself from looking around online though. I keep finding myself on the H&M website, and thinking, "Well it's really good value, why not?" I'll tell you why not. Because you always have to create an account with these websites to buy from them, and it's such a hassle. However, in this case I'm quite relieved, because it put me off from buying a bunch of summery tops. I do really want this though:

I love Donald Duck. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll be buying this at some point.

Because I'm so utterly useless at life, this morning I managed to not only incorrectly enter my pin-code into my phone 3 times, resulting in my pin getting blocked, but I also managed to wipe the ENTIRE memory of my phone in the process. After a bit of poking around online I managed to find out what my puk code was to unblock my pin and let me back onto my phone, but I was still left without all my pictures, texts and numbers, because I never got around to saving them to my sim card. Mum and Dad, if you're reading this, send me a text telling me who you are because I don't have your numbers.

Today I'm loving: That it is finally Pancake Day tomorrow. Daf makes the best pancakes ever.

Today I'm hatin': The loss of all my numbers, so incredibly annoying.

Song of the Day: This Is The Life by Amy MacDonald
And you're singing the songs/Thinking 'this is the life'/And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size/Where you gonna go, where you gonna go/Where you gonna sleep tonight?

Floor Brownies

I had an absolute mare today.

I wanted to make brownies, and I had most of the ingredients, so I went into town for some unsalted butter and chocolate chips, the only things I was missing. It's a nice, fairly warm, sunny day, and I was wearing a shortish dress over my thick black tights. As soon as I stepped outside, I realised it was a bit more windy than I had anticipated, but nevertheless, I kept on walking. I live up a hill, and it wasn't until I got to the bottom of it that I discovered that it was indeed just windy enough to blow my dress up. Lovely. However, as I have said, I live up a hill, and not even an awkward walk around town holding onto my dress would make me go back up and change. Laziness wins every time. Besides, I wasn't going to take long, right? Wrong.

There are two Spar shops very close to where I live, so I went to the bigger one. They had almonds, dried fruit, glacier cherries, and a few other bits and pieces that you can put in cakes, but no chocolate chips. Also, no unsalted butter. This meant that I had to walk all the way across town to Co-op, where luckily they did have what I needed, but it added about half an hour onto my 'quick' shopping trip, which is quite long when the dress you're wearing isn't particularly wind-friendly.

After about a million years (because I ALWAYS get stuck behind slow walking people who take up the whole pavement), I got back to the flat and started making my brownies. They were supposed to take about half an hour in the oven, so after the half hour had gone I went to see if they were done. The oven in our flat is stupid because it doesn't open down, it opens to the side, like a door. It makes me paranoid whenever I'm getting things out of it because it always starts to close on me and I'm worried about burning myself. So anyway, with my trusty (crap) oven gloves on, I had one hand propping open the door, and the other trying to guide the brownie tin forward to see how much longer they needed. Anyway, I still don't quite know how it happened, but the tin just slid out of the oven and the brownies (which were nowhere near done) plopped out and onto the floor. I sat there, on the floor for a moment, inwardly cursing my life, before running back to the living room.

"Daaaaaaf, you need to come and help me."
"Yeah, in a minute."
"No, you need to come and help me nowwwww."

Daf thought it was hilarious.

"Stop laughing, we need to get it back in the tin so I can put it back in the oven."
"You're still going to cook them?"
"I went out specifically for chocolate chips, I am cooking those brownies."

Daf managed to get the gloopy mess back in the tin, and they successfully cooked, so hopefully they don't taste like floor. I'm so glad we don't have carpet in the kitchen, it would have been a disaster. I took a picture on my phone, it's not the greatest quality but I didn't really have time to whip out the Nikon D90.

Yeah, it looked like cow-pat. Yum.

They'll still taste great.

Today I'm loving: Creme Eggs, I got some from Poundland. Money-saving and delicious.

Today I'm hatin': I think it should be pretty obvious from this post.

Song of the Day: Bad Day by R.E.M
It's been a bad day/Please don't take a picture