Writer's Block

I've been suffering from Writer's Block lately when it comes to my blog. Occasionally I'll think of things that would make great blog posts, but then I never know how to start them, or I'm not in the mood, or I feel like I can't quite form a coherent opinion on whatever subject it is I wanted to write about in the first place. And then I read Suzy's post about a recent article on Jennifer Aniston's anti-aging regime, and the pressures put on women by the media to look good, and all of that got me thinking about self-esteem. 

I've never thought of myself as a particularly self-conscious person. Don't get me wrong; I'm still a girl, and when I was 14 and 15 I never thought I was pretty at all, and was constantly comparing how I looked to how my friends looked, and thinking that no boy would ever want to go out with me, etc etc, you know the story. But when I was 16, I finally got a decent(ish) haircut, I got contact lenses (which I had wanted for ages), and I generally just gradually began to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Pretty much ever since then, I've never been overly worried about my appearance. Sure, I still have days when I don't feel like I look that nice, but I think everyone has those days, and it doesn't really bother me anymore. In that respect, I feel incredibly lucky because I know of people who are cripplingly self-conscious about their appearance, and no matter how many times they're told how gorgeous they are, it doesn't really matter, because that kind of validation first and foremost has to come from yourself.

I definitely wouldn't want to go back to how I thought of myself when I was 14 years old, but self-esteem isn't just about how you look, it's also how you feel about things that you do. English was always my best subject at school, and I loved creative writing. I would sit at my desk with my hand-me-down laptop and write all sorts of silly little stories, or chapters of a book never to be written. And a lot of the time they'd never really go anywhere, I probably wouldn't show them to anyone unless I was particularly pleased with it, but I was confident enough to just stop over-analyzing everything I was writing and just...write. But now, at 23 years old, I can't remember the last time I wrote something that I didn't delete shortly after. I can't remember what it felt like to be able to just write without constantly stopping to re-read everything. It's annoying because I know that that's the only way I'm going to get better, but now I just don't feel confident about my writing, and I worry that I'll never be good enough. And isn't that what self-esteem is? Just feeling good enough?

However, if past experiences have taught me anything, it's that I won't always feel this way. Although I don't feel confident in my writing right now, I do feel confident that this feeling will pass, and that at some point in the (hopefully) not too distant future, I will be able to sit down and write, and just see where it takes me.

Song of the Day: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac

Currently Reading: It

All dressed up with nowhere to go

It's so grey and miserable today that I thought if I dressed up in bright colours, the sun might come out. It didn't work, but at least it hasn't started raining just yet.

Anyway, I'm on my own this week because my boyfriend is currently in Berlin with some friends, so I'm trying to keep busy, and I've also had some unforeseen Grown-Up jobs to take care of. (Being an adult is so overrated). My birthday weekend was awesome though, I had a really good night out on Friday with some of my friends.

Cardigan: Matalan
Top: Matalan
Skirt: Miss Selfridge
Shoes: Dorothy Perkins
Necklace: Gift

I really love this outfit, I just wish the weather was better for it! It gets boring wearing jeans all the time!

Things to smile about

I've had a crappy day. Really, really crappy. But I've had a shower, I've made some yummy pasta for my tea, and I've had time to reflect on the good things instead.

1) I found my Spongebob Squarepants socks in the back of my wardrobe after thinking I'd managed to lose them. I love my Spongebob socks.

2) I had a really good birthday weekend which included cake (always a bonus). The Harry Potter Studio Tour was incredible, if you're a fan you should definitely go, it's well worth it. The gift shop is a bit pricey, I really wanted a Marauder's Map but couldn't justify spending £30 on it! I took loads of photos but I'm only going to post a couple as I don't want to spoil it for anyone who's planning to go.

3) My pyjamas are ridiculously comfy, I don't care that it's only 8pm.

4) Even though Daf is away for the week, it means that I can watch whatever movies/TV shows that I want - we can never agree on what to watch.

5) It's nice to be safe in the knowledge that a cup of tea will always make me feel better (I am so British).

Song of the Day: Dead Hearts by Stars

Currently reading: It by Stephen King, I've swapped books again, On The Road is harder than first anticipated.

Shopping haul

Okay, so I know it's been a while but I'm sure you can forgive me because today is my BIRTHDAY! Yesterday my boyfriend took me the the Harry Potter Studio Tour and it was awesome, so if you're a fan I would definitely recommend it!

Anyway, I haven't got an outfit post because I haven't taken one in ages, partly because of the horrible weather, but I've also been working a lot and doing various other grown-up things. However, I went into town today and may have treated myself to a few bits, and if you can't treat yourself on your birthday, then when can you?

Clothes L-R: Dorothy Perkins jeans; Dorothy Perkins shirt; Tu at Sainsburys top; River Island skirt

I also bought some shampoo and conditioner, face-wipes, hand-cream and a bag of mini Creme Eggs (which should definitely not be kept right by the checkout counter - dangerous business).

All in all it's been a pretty good birthday. Now I've got to try and decide what to wear when I go out later :)


I've had the kind of week that feels like it's going ridiculously slowly but in actual fact it's not and all of a sudden it's over. I think I've woken up everyday this week and thought to myself  I am definitely going to blog today but then something always came up and I ended up not doing it. Anyway, I've got a busy week coming up again because of work, and it's my birthday on Friday and Daf is taking me to the Harry Potter Studio Tour on Thursday. Excitedexcitedexcited.

Speaking of my birthday, I was on bar last night at work and I served a couple of guys and one said, "How old are you, because my mate thinks you're about 13." Fan-tastic. Needless to say they were surprised when I told them I was going to be 23 on Friday. 

In other news, today is my bestest's birthday.

Happy Birthday Soph!

Song of the Day: Dance Wiv Me by Dizzee Rascal feat. Calvin Harris & Chrome

Currently reading: On The Road. I may have not picked it up since I last blogged...maybe.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...