Keep your keys with you at all times

This morning I paid £17 to sit in a chair for two minutes and have a man count my teeth. Otherwise known as a 'dental check-up'. I so should have gone to dentist school.

Yesterday I managed to lock myself out of my house, and I was stuck there for about an hour and fifteen minutes until my neighbour (who has a spare key) got home and rescued me. I don't even know how it happened. I had been into town and Sainsburys, picked up a few bits, and when I got home I took all the shopping bags in, put the keys down, and put down my handbag which had my phone and purse inside. Before I had left home I'd taken out the food caddy to empty it into the outside bin, and I left it there to bring in when I got back. So, once I had dropped everything inside, I went back out to get the food caddy. I didn't put the door on the latch, which was a rookie mistake, but the caddy was just outside the door and it didn't occur to me. Anyway, there must have been a gust of wind or something because I heard a slam and came to the humiliating realisation that I had managed to lock myself out.

I went next door to see if anyone was home, which of course they weren't, because the universe was mocking me. It was about quarter to two, so assuming most jobs finish about 5, I was going to have to wait about 3 and a half hours for someone to get home and lend me the key. It was quite overcast yesterday, with sporadic bouts of rain and gusts of wind. Unfortunately for me, my cardigan was in my handbag, which was just on the otherside of the doorway. So I could add 'cold' to my problems.

I tried to fit my arm through the letterbox to see if I could reach the inside handle but my chubby hands wouldn't fit. Or maybe letterboxes weren't designed to fit limbs through them, I don't know. At one point I heard sirens and wondered if a neighbour had phoned the police under the impression that I was a persistent but incompetent burglar. Everytime the rain got a little too heavy I had to go and stand under the hedge/shrubbery to try and avoid getting completely soaked, but fortunately there was never a continous downpour. Most of the time I spent just sitting on the step, lamenting my own stupidity.

At around 3pm I heard a car slow down outside next door, and it was my neighbour's son getting dropped off by his friends. He went and got me a keyring which had the most keys attached to it that I have ever seen. Not knowing which one it was, I started trying all of them, although at one point I couldn't remember which keys I'd already tried. Anyway, eventually I found the right one and managed to get back inside. Let me tell you, I have never appreciated keys as much as I do now.

That's all for now, join me next time for another installment of I can't believe I am considered to be a responsible adult.


Song of the Day: Loser by Beck
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

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