Alexander: A Review

The night that I stayed up until 4am doing last minute dissertation related things, Alexander the movie about Alexander the Great was on acting as my background noise. I had several problems with this movie that I am going to share with you. Without further ado, here is my review of Alexander.
*Disclaimer: As I was paying very little attention, this review will be wholly inaccurate because I actually have no idea what the plot was - from what I can gather, there's some fighting and a lot of Colin Farrell being really weird.*

  • First of all, Angelina Jolie playing Colin Farrell's mother is the most ridiculous casting ever, plus it didn't look like much effort had been made to make her look older.
  • Second, wasn't Alexander the Great Greek, and not Irish? I know that Colin Farrell is Irish, but maybe a neutral accent could have been used or something. Plus Angelina was trying to do a Greek accent (I think that's what it was at least), so it all just sounded very odd. Bit of consistency would have been nice.
  • I think there might have been incesty (is that a word) undertones between Alexander and his mum. Which is always weird.
  • Anthony Hopkins narrating the film just made me think of The Grinch.
  • Why does no one in Greece look Greek?
  • Finally, it's like 3 hours long or something. If you want to watch a 3 hour film, I'd suggest Titanic, or one of The Lord of the Rings films.   

I was also going to complain about the fact that Alexander was blond, but Wikipedia tells me that he was, in fact, blond and of a pale complexion. See, I do my research.
Here concludes my Alexander review. Next week: Troy

(I'm only joking. I probably won't review Troy. Also, I'm aware that this by no means constitutes a 'review' so if you're genuinely interested in a review of Alexander, this probably won't help you and I suggest you look elsewhere.)

Song of the Day: Rumour Has It by Adele
She made your heart melt/But you're cold to the core/Now rumour has it she ain't got your love anymore

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